From teeny to lady

Music. Noise. People clad in red and black.

Red and black.

Red.

Black.

I was getting dizzy with the repeating color scheme. Overwhelming enough, the colors seem to jive with my anxiety and nervousness. At that moment, "calm" was nowhere to be found. Instead, "fear" and "worry" ate my weak mind and soul, and slowly chewed on my body.

The crowd grew larger as I peeked through the dusty window of the bungalow house. Hi here, hello there. Greeting everywhere. Friends who I've never seen for a long time suddenly came. They were looking for me. Looking for the girl who's about to become a full-grown lady in just minutes. 

Minutes of teeth-clashing suspense.

Palm sweating, body shaking, mind wandering.

"It's about time," the coordinator said. I held my prince's hand as we sneaked past the starving guests. Hiding though not really hidden. My heart was throbbing as we reached the staying area. I can't contain myself. I can't sit comfortably. I can't breathe normally. I can't remain steady. And, clearly enough, the girdle I was wearing added to the complication.

Suddenly, I felt fingers brushing against mine. It was my prince's hand.

"It'll be okay. Relax, calm down," he said. But I just can't seem to absorb his advice. My mind was clouded with thoughts, and there was no space for a little heap of oxygen to pass. I felt that my brain will explode in just minutes. I felt uneasy. He made me feel better, but the nervousness won't go away.

Introduction. Welcoming. AVP music. 

I grew more nervous.

The emcee called my parents to walk down the wonderfully-lit pathway.

I felt cold sweat all over my body. Buckets of 'em. 

Makeup already washed away. Foundation almost non-existent. Lips almost bare.

The emcee mentioned my name as they motioned me to make my grand entrance. I was escorted by my prince, who was as dead nervous as I was.

Heads turned. All eyes on me. I felt shy, since I'm not used on being the center of attention--- and attraction. They were all smiling, and although I seem to reciprocate their happiness, deep inside, I was wondering, "Is this real? Am I really walking down here? OMG, I sooo cannot believe this!"

Few more steps to go.

As I held my long, balloon gown to keep myself from tripping, I became overjoyed. Seeing the most important people in my life, standing there gazing at my seemingly amazing presence, was truly a delight for me. "Calm" finally showed up, and it pushed "worry" and "nervous" away from me. Little by little, I felt comfortable, knowing that, after all, I was the star of the night.

Three more steps to go.

Three.

Two.

One.

I was greeted by a bunch of confetti poking right at my face, with the guests applauding and cheering for me. The lights went intense, several cameras worked their shutters, and a huge amount of smoke was slowly released before me.

And by that, I already knew: the little, naive and childish girl writing this disorganized essay is not so little, naive and childish anymore.

And yeah, welcome to womanhood. ;)

Yours truly, now 18 and legal. XD

 

 Picture courtesy of: Mr. Claude Gan. :)  Thank you!

Good girl gone bad???

Nope. Definitely not. :P  (And who said I'm a good girl from the start? Joke!)

It's a Saturday today! And as usual, students are not required to wear their uniforms. Our school is strict about dress code, though. No shorts, no sleeveless, no slippers... (blah blah blah and the list goes on........)  We accept that, although sometimes most students find it irritating because they can't fully express themselves, even on wash day. No one wants to break the rules, because if you do, you'll get the ever-scary (ows?) 'violation slip' and your ID will be taken away from you. No one wants that to happen, yep, no one. But every single day, I believe, there are students who receive the punishment. Every time I'd pass by the ID sensor thing-y, I always see students talking to the guards, either pleading not to give them a violation, questioning the unforgiving grown-ups clad in security uniforms, or just obliging to accept their fate. Sometimes, when I see them, I just go like, "Sigh. Poor creatures. Now everyone's looking at them."

I never thought that the same thing would happen to me.

I was never the violator. I was always the "good girl who followed the rules". Most of the time, I don't want to get my hands dirty by doing something that would get the attention of the whole world population and, worst, the school officials. I don't want to embarrass myself. I hate that (even though I embarrass myself everyday). But I'm also a normal human being like everybody else, and I've had my own share of "break-the-rules" moments. Like, when I was in high school, I took out my cell phone while lunch time and started to capture "me, myself and I" photos. Gadgets were a no-no at my secondary school, so when one of the utility men saw me, he instructed me to come over and hand him my phone. I was so nervous! I tried to smooth-talk my way through the mess, but he wouldn't budge. Thankfully, minutes later he returned it to me, said he wouldn't bring it to the guidance counselor, and just warned me not to do that again. And I never did that again. :P

Okay, so here's the real story! (Ek ek nanaman ako e, nagkwento pa! Sabagay, para may suspense. :D)

I went to school earlier this morning and, thank goodness, I'm not late. As I passed through the bag inspection, the lady guard quickly called to the other guard (who was manning the ID sensor thing-y), "Uy, leggings!" DARN. There's no way I could get out of this trouble. The guard, as soon as I swiped my ID, called me and said, "Ms. Castandiello, bakit ka naka-skin tight outfit?" I was like, "Huh? Bawal po ba?" And then he was like, "Oo, ayun o tingnan mo." Then he pointed to the tarpaulin of "Outfits No-No". Ow, I see. No leggings allowed. Darn, I was wearing a dress with leggings kasi. Barancles. I was about to sign my violation slip when I realized that it's already past 7 and I needed to go to my room! So he just confiscated my ID and told me to come back during my free time. And oh, I don't have a free time every Wednesdays and Saturdays. :P

I don't believe it! I swore I saw someone wearing leggings last Saturday--- and her ID's still hanging on her neck! Darn it. I never thought I could get a violation. I'm not mad or anything (in fact, I was just cool and chill when that happened :P), I'm just confused. Why do I see students wearing forbidden outfits, and yet, their IDs are not being confiscated? Is it just a matter of technique? Hmm, let me think of some. So that next time, that won't happen again! (No, no, no, no. I will not let that happen again. I'm sticking back to my overused pants and tokongs. Darn.)  I don't want to be suspended after three attempts of expressing my new and improved self (with the fashion sense), so 'di bale nang magpaulit-ulit ng jeans every week. Haaaaaaay. Must. Go. Shopping!!! :P

Long story short, my ID and I are still not reunited as of this time. They said I can claim it on Monday, and so be it. No problem. Stare at my ID picture any time you want, just give it back to me. :)

 So there, my "the-halo-turned-horns" story. Well, it's not so bad. I mean, people make mistakes every day. It's just a matter of not making yourself stupid by assuring that you won't repeat the same mishap again. As Ma'am Toni said, "Stupid people are those who do the same mistake over and over and over." ;) 

Have a good day folks! :P

Good night, indeed! :D

What's the best way to end your day? Smile, of course! :D

And I just did that. :)  Why frown when everything around you is so sunshine-y (even though it's night already!) and radiant! New dress from my sister, a trip around Manila from my friend (thanks Ken! :P), and of course, a good night text message from my love. ♥♥♥

I feel like I'm floating on a bunch of clouds! Nothing really beats a simple appreciation from someone so special, after I made him something that, I know, had put a smile on his face. :))  He was super touched, and so am I. :D

Haaay. Now, I don't care about my 'still' unfinished homeworks, pending quizzes, and lack of sleep (my class tomorrow is 7 am. Ack!). Nope, I can't think of them right now. My mind is filled with sweet candies and chooey-choco lollipops, and I can't stop blushing! :P

So there, good night folks. :)  Have a SWEET dream, just like me!

A letter from me to YOU

It's already past 12 am, but I just can't postpone this moment. If I don't blog about it today, I won't have the drive tomorrow. (Yep, harsh reality) :D

~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Alex,

I always give you letters or cards for our month anniversary celebrations, but this time I want to be quite different. ;)  (You can have this printed out, though. :P)

Do you still remember the day we first met? I can still vividly remember it, even though it was already more than a year ago. My friend and I were sitting beside our table, and then you showed up and struck a conversation. I didn't expect that I would meet someone that night. What's more unexpected is that 'someone' would, later on, change my life---in a good way.

05-16-09. First meeting. With Erika.

You're always there, through the good times and bad times. Whether I'm jumping with joy, complaining, or just having my mood swings--- you never left me. You support me with everything I do, and encourage me to do better. You always make me happy. :)  Sometimes you may not know it but, yeah, you do. When you surprise me with little things, like those banats that you say (I say it's corny, but deep inside I get kilig :P), it always puts a smile on my face. When you stare at me, I melt inside. Or when you simply hold my hand, it means so much to me. Yes, we've had our share of misunderstandings and conflicts, but we're still together. Sometimes we argue, oftentimes we don't agree with each others' sentiments. We hurt each other, but we fix things up before the day ends. That's one of the things I love about you: you never let our problem go unsolved overnight. :))

I'm so happy and blessed to have known you for more than a year now (1 year, 6 months and 24 days to be exact). You've changed a lot, but on the other side, you didn't. Crazy, right? What I mean is that, even though there are some external changes, you're still the same Alex I met 18 months ago: sweet, caring, loving and thoughtful. :D

Months quickly pass by. It was just like yesterday when I said 'yes'. But it's actually 10 months ago already! Well, what can I say? Time flies when you're having the best moments of your life. And I'm happier because I'm able to share them with you. :)  They say that relationships nowadays don't last for more than 9 months, but I'm very proud to proclaim that after 10 challenging months, we're still as tight as an unbreakable thing. We're nearing our 1st ever anniversary, and honestly, I can't wait! :) 

And... fast forward to 1 year and 6 months later! :P

So there, belated happy 10 months of togetherness dear! I still get torpe sometimes, but always remember that I love you, I still love you, and I will love you for the rest of my life. :)

With flying hugs, kicks and kisses,
Jane ♥

~~~~~~~~~~

Don't think that it's cheesy, okay? Good night! *yawn* -.-

Stole

I was thinking of a nice title for this entry, and I remembered a song from Kelly Rowland way back in 2002 (or 2001? Can't remember. :-O) It was about teenagers whose souls were taken away early in their lives. Indeed, life was stole (or stolen... well, that's what's on the lyrics!) for them.

>>>Wanna hear the song and watch the MV? Click me!<<<

~~~~~~~~~~

Just last week, a student from our school was murdered. Her name is Glaudia Schnelli. Personally, I don't know her. I haven't met her, not even once, but some of my friends know her. They have been classmates with her last semester. They say that she's a nice person, and by just looking at her pictures and friends, I think that's true. So for those who have known her personally and are very close to her, Ja's (as they call her) death came by surprise. She was a graduating student this coming March. She still have many dreams and goals that she wanted to pursue, but just in a flash------ it all went away. She was gone, all of a sudden, without notice. Now, how could she reach her dreams? How could she wear that college toga and walk on stage to receive her diploma? All her hard work since elementary up until now... gone.

~~~~~~~~~~

This morning, I came across a bunch of newspapers while waiting for our Psychology class to be dismissed. As usual, I was leafing through the Entertainment and Lifestyle section, when I suddenly saw an article on the Metro section. It read, "Teenager killed, 5 injured when train hit taxi" (That's not the exact phrase, it's just the main idea 'cause I can't remember the headline anymore). I was stunned upon seeing that! Imagine, how can a taxi be hit by a train? Well, turns out that the cab driver did not follow instructions. Sheesh. Another reckless driver.

Okay, here's what happened (according to the news):

A taxi, boarding the 17 year-old Gemma Reyes and 5 others, tried to cross the PNR (Philippine National Railways) at Pandacan, Manila even though there was already a warning sign from the crossing guard that a train is fast approaching. The driver ignored the sign, went forward, and the cab was hit by the train, causing it to be pushed 5 meters away. That slam was an instant killer for those who were inside the taxi. Reyes did not survive, while the other passengers were injured. The driver of the cab said he did not see the crossing guard nor the upcoming train, and that he did not try to beat the train. 

Heck. When I read about that, I was dumbfounded and, at the same time, kinda pissed off by the driver's response. I mean, were you drunk mister?? C'mon, no one doesn't see the crossing guards at PNR! I know because I pass through the railroads everyday. And thank God none of that has ever happened to me. Luckily, I end up with responsible drivers. What the hell was he thinking? He sacrificed the lives of his 6 passengers just to beat that darn train! What a reason! No matter what he says, it's still his fault. He should have been more careful. Every passenger that a driver takes in is his responsibility. Their lives lie on his hands. So, to all drivers out there, please be more responsible. You don't know the value of those people you accommodate inside your vehicles.

~~~~~~~~~~

Guys, let's pray for the souls of Glaudia Schnelli and Gemma Reyes, and for those who are still under medical treatment.

♪♫ Life was stole, oh, now we'll never know...♪♫

--- "Stole" by Kelly Rowland

Father heart daughter

"No father does not love her child."

--> Guess who. Hehe :P

After watching a video dedicated to Otto and Anne Frank on YouTube (here's the link: click!), I realized the value of paternal love. I'm not saying that I don't love my dad, though. :D

This video made me cry for various reasons:

First is because I pity the Frank family for suffering the Holocaust.  

Second, I felt Otto's love and concern for Anne, and vice versa. When they were being separated by the Gestapo, I can clearly see that they don't want to be apart. Otto was hugging Anne very tight, not wanting to let go of her daughter.  

Third, I remembered my own father. I'm not so attached to him as I am to my mother, but I love him equally. I'm grateful that we didn't experience that kind of cruelty. If we did, I don't think I could survive from the start.

Wonderfully done, gaby78! This video has touched my heart, made me sob, and taught me about a father's unending love for his child. RIP Frank family.

Annelies Marie Frank

She's the reason why I'm crying right now. :'(

I just watched the last 6 parts of Anne Frank: The Whole Story on YouTube, and all of a sudden, I was taken to a whole new world..... of the then-suffering Jews. It felt like, I was experiencing their pain also. I can totally feel Otto's devastation with regards to his family's death, Anne and Margot's feelings when she had no food to eat, Edith's depression while seeing her daughters getting thin, dirty and sickly, and Hannah's sadness while witnessing her friend's pain and state. For once, I felt like I was one of them.

Annelies Marie Frank

What's more heartbreaking is the fact that they all died days before the liberation! They could've survived the Holocaust if their resistance against sickness and hunger were strong. But, if I was there, I guess I wouldn't make it also. Well, how can you survive with no food and a disease that was quickly spreading?? That darn concentration camp made the Jews selfish. They'd steal food, socks and blankets from other people. I pity them, I really do. If I had the chance, enough guts and mighty power to help them, I would really, really lend them my hands... even my feet. But sadly (and luckily), I was born 65 years after that horrible event in history. But even if I were alive at that time, I don't think I can do anything to save them. So why say that? Darnie.

Margot, Otto, Anne and Edith Frank.

I know, I don't need to be sad for her. At least they're all in heaven now, happily singing with the angels. But I guess that's a natural feeling that won't be changed forever. I'm sure I will still get sad when I watch tributes for her in the future--- that's common. At the end of the day, I'm certain that she's already contented there. At least she wouldn't have to deal with all the hustle and bustle in the world today. :)

The face of a million Jews who were crying for help at concentration camps.

May your memory live forever Anne Frank. May your diary inspire lots of people in the future. :D

Tweakkkk!!!

Huhu. I can't modify my template! :(  I want to change my page's background picture, but I can't find the right code! I get dizzy whenever I rummage through the HTML box. Those codes are driving me nuts!

Somebody. Help. Me. Please. I want to tweak my blog!